Lauren’s Story

By Robyn Meurkson

On February 14, 2008, a day typically known for its love and compassion towards others, quickly turned into a devastating nightmare for many of Northern Illinois University students. Around 3:00 p.m. Central Standard Time, former NIU student Steven Kazmierczak walked into the Cole Hall building and opened fire, killing five victims and injuring 21 others. It was a lucky day for many of NIU students who escaped the deadly scene, but for one student who survived, it was never forgotten.

Lauren Carr, 29, is a former NIU student, who was one of the many survivors of the shooting that took place at Northern Illinois University, in DeKalb, IL. Carr had previously transferred from the University of Phoenix in Schaumburg, IL to NIU during her college years. Carr transferred to NIU due to being in an environment where she largely socialized and explored other career interests.

“I finished the semester at the University of Phoenix in Schaumburg, but then realized I wanted to be where my main support system was, and that was home at NIU,” said Carr.

On a cold crisp morning, where there was barely snow on the ground, many NIU students rushed to their class while Carr spent a little time hanging around campus. “I was a punk kid,” said Carr. “I didn’t care about going to class or doing my homework.”

For Carr, it was the first day of her Oceanography class located in NIU’s Cole Hall building, where she hesitated to attend class due to unfinished assignments. “I’ve failed Oceanography class twice because I had no interest in it-- it was an elective course,” said Carr.

Upon entering into the classroom, students began to take their seats. Carr later arrived feeling nonchalant about the lecture that was about to be presented. “We were in the classroom preparing for a lecture-exam. It was a boring lecture that nobody seemed to care about,” said Carr.

The lights were dimmed and there was a mini stage in between the walls of the classroom. “The classroom was structured like a mini coliseum of tables. It was sometimes uncomfortable because there would be so many students, it was like you were at the All-State Arena!”

Regarding her time spent at NIU, Carr gives credit to her Oceanographer instructor, Joe Peterson for saving her life during the time of tragedy. “Mr. Peterson told me to sit in the third row of available seats to stay focus in class.” “If I would have sat just a couple of rows down, I would have been killed,” said Carr.

At 3:00 p.m., while classes were still in session, NIU emergency notified students and staff to go into lockdown mode for all of NIU’s campuses. It was mentioned from one student to another that a shooter was in the Cole Hall building. One student claimed that she saw the active shooter walking towards her classroom firing at nearby students.

Allison Phrang, 28, is a former NIU student, where she was located in a classroom adjacent to where Lauren was in. The former sophomore student first heard the gun shots and later saw the active shooter enter the classroom where Lauren was present.

“I remember hearing gun shots fired,” said Phrang. “I remember thinking to myself, what is going on, am I going to die?” All faculty, was in the process of trying to keep students clam and not to panic.

Carita Giles, 31, was a Financial Aid Assistant then during her time at NIU. "I was shocked to hear there was a shooter in the building." “I remember keeping calm and keeping my peers around me calm,” said Giles.

Kazmierczak entered the classroom where Lauren was present and began shooting at students in his direction without saying a word. Many students ran for cover while viewing the fatalities that surrounded them. Carr, was nearly face-to-face with Kazmierczak as she described him as a man with a “blank face.” “He looked like he wasn’t there, just a blank face,” said Carr.

Kazmierczak walked through the main door, pointing the gun straight ahead at students. “I recall being held to the ground, maneuvering my way to the exit door, but there were shots fired so loud, I thought I was going to die,” said Carr.

Carr escaped unharmed, but watching those who got shot right in front of her, including her close friend Gayle Dubowski, it was a memory that would be engraved in her mind forever.

“I saw a guy bleeding to death before my eyes, and he just kept running,” said Carr. While trying to escape the deadly rampage, Carr remembers hearing a girl running and screaming about him reloading a gun. Many who witness the account of the shooting struggled with long-term mental affects including PTSD and depression.

As for Lauren, it was a struggle to remember the devastating events that occurred on that day. “I wanted to return to the classroom because I didn’t want the actions of one person controling my life,” said Carr.

Life after the shooting, Carr had to seek a lot of counseling and therapy. Her close friend Gayle Dubowski, who was fatally shot near Lauren, made a deep impact on Lauren’s life and family. According to Carr, Gayle’s parents continue to comfort and connect with Lauren despite the devastating tragedy. Since then, Carr has decided to dedicate her life to God.

“I have admitted myself to different counselors after the NIU shooting, but many have failed.” “The only counselor that can heal and understand me is Jesus.”